Master Of The House歌词

Sacha Baron Cohen - Master Of The House
My band of soaks

My den of dissolutes

My dirty jokes my always **** as newts.

My sons of whores

Spent their lives in my inn

Homing pigeons homing in

Then fly through my doors

And I * down on all faults

Welcome m'sieur

Sit yourself down

And meet the best
Innkeeper in town

As for the rest
All of 'em crooks
Rooking their guests
And cooking the books

Seldom do you see

Honest men like me

A gent of good intent
Who's content to be

Master of the house
Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake
And an open palm
Tells a saucy tale
Makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur

Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice

But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!

Master of the house
Keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em
Of a sou or two
Watering the wine
Making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks
When they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord

Everybody's buxom friend

I do whatever pleases
Jesus! won't i bleed 'em in the end!

Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter philosopher
And lifelong mate!

Everybody's boon companion

Everybody's chaperone

But lock up your valises
Jesus! won't i skin you to the bone!

Food beyond compare
Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer
And pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse
Liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages
With this and that
Residents are more than welcome

Bridal suite is occupied

Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!

Charge 'em for the lice
Extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice
There a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices

There are a lot of tricks he knows

How it all increases
All those bits and pieces
Jesus! it's amazing how it grows!

I used to dream
That i would meet a prince

But god almighty

Have you seen what's happened since?

Master of the house?

Isn't worth me spit!

'comforter philosopher'
- and lifelong ****!

Cunning little brain

Regular voltaire

Thinks he's quite a lover
But there's not much there

What a cruel trick of nature

Landed me with such a louse

God knows how i've lasted
Living with this **** in the house!

Master of the house!
Master and a half!
Comforter philosopher
Ah don't make me laugh!
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Hypocrite and toady
And inebriate!

Everybody bless the landlord!

Everybody bless his spouse!
Everybody raise a glass

Raise it up the master's ****

Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!