[00:00.000] 作曲 : Lily Kaplan
[00:25.834] To get to my current position
[00:27.066] I done more than 10,000 hours
[00:28.887] Dreamt that I saw my name on a gravestone
[00:30.690] Maybe then they would give me my flowers
[00:32.319] Mum put 3 of her boys in the tub same time
[00:34.367] Cah we couldn't afford to shower
[00:35.692] Before man snaked me, I already saw it coming
[00:37.905] I saw they were sour
[00:38.921] But now it's my time to experience fame
[00:40.825] The opps tryna find out where am I staying
[00:42.519] My girl don't believe anything I'm saying
[00:44.215] My family need anything, I'm paying
[00:45.994] Sat down telling a therapist stories
[00:47.708] I know she ain't gonna relate
[00:48.956] What's this? What's that?
[00:49.736] I don't care to explain
[00:50.644] I'll deal with grief and bearing the pain
[00:52.612] I don't paint these girls in a positive way
[00:54.442] You can tell that my heart's been broken before
[00:56.474] Tryna heal, but it's taking time
[00:57.874] What's the point in life?
[00:58.702] I don't know anymore
[00:59.931] Tell the young boys stay in school
[01:01.294] But I wouldn't be here if I followed the law
[01:03.263] I keep making dumb decisions like I don't have control of my thoughts
[01:06.564] The guys wouldn't know that I'm feeling like this
[01:08.372] 'Cause I conceal and hide it
[01:09.852] Everyone's there on the weekend vibing
[01:11.793] Nobody's there when I need consignment
[01:13.542] I heard the quote that the strong survive
[01:15.090] But I still got a fear of us dying
[01:16.534] Some nights still toss and turn in my sleep
[01:18.484] Cah I seen some serious violence
[01:20.004] I was 6 years old when dad left home and they shot my grandad
[01:22.929] All of that at once
[01:23.841] My lil bro's still going to school
[01:25.353] But he wanna do everything that the gang does
[01:27.579] Now he's repeating the cycle
[01:28.916] Cah he's outside and he wanna go act up
[01:30.727] Got sick of the carton milk
[01:32.159] It was free school meals, we never had pack lunch
[01:34.172] Cutting the mould of the loaf of bread
[01:35.575] And I looked in the fridge and the milk expired
[01:37.428] All of the mandem jumped in the trap
[01:39.056] Cah we put on The Wire and got inspired
[01:40.898] Not surprised when I see man lying
[01:42.503] It's fine, I already clocked they're liars
[01:44.209] I just saw a cat that I know whilst driving
[01:45.926] I might park up on the block, say hi
[01:47.820] Mum's house banging out Beanie Sigel
[01:49.440] I still don't feel much love in the air
[01:51.058] Lost faith in God 'cause I thought I was cursed
[01:52.786] Kept it to myself cah none of them cared
[01:54.570] Telling my baby:
[01:55.517] "Wait, I don't know how long it will it take, I'm gonna repair
[01:57.857] If it all falls down, would you bounce?
[01:59.173] If none of the tours sold out, are you gonna be there?"
[02:01.379] There's a few times I lost faith in music
[02:03.145] I put out a tune and it didn't get views
[02:04.829] Me and my broski went and came up with a plan back then
[02:07.277] But it didn't go through
[02:08.346] You know that shit that you say when you're broke
[02:09.883] Like "When I get dough I'ma bring in you too"
[02:11.672] Then I blew up and reality hit
[02:13.352] Shit, now I gotta think this through
[02:15.091] Three little brothers
[02:16.213] Mum's 40 and still ain't paid off her student loan
[02:18.582] My dad can't move, he's ****ing paralysed
[02:20.415] Just went through some serious stroke
[02:22.000] The mandem calling me
[02:23.188] YG's warning me
[02:24.232] Saying that I gotta leave home
[02:25.472] I get more money, more problems now
[02:27.025] I had less to worry 'bout when I was broke
[02:28.840] Remember I had one pair of Air Forces
[02:30.754] Tryna keep out the creases
[02:32.256] Now the front drive look like it's a showroom
[02:34.216] And none of them leases
[02:35.528] I'm extremely grateful for all my people
[02:37.650] Cah none of them leeches
[02:38.965] I dropped a tape, got a billion streams
[02:40.736] And none of them even features
[02:42.325] Now my bredrin dissed me tryna go viral
[02:44.346] 'Cause he ain't blown yet
[02:45.220] How is that my fault?
[02:46.272] I thought you was Christian
[02:47.351] Why don't you move like Mathew, Phillip, disciple
[02:49.468] But you wanna snake man, move like Judas
[02:51.255] 'Cause you ain't blew, it's ****ing vio
[02:53.003] And we're in London, bare opportunity
[02:54.583] It's not like we live in Ohio
[02:55.863] I booked hotels and flights to all of these shows
[02:57.887] And brought you to all of these countries
[02:59.361] Say thank you and pretend that you're grateful
[03:01.103] But when I turn man's back, say **** me
[03:02.817] Whole six months, living at your mum's
[03:04.324] We was with big bro, on our own, it was us three
[03:06.253] Shouldn't ever bite the hand that feeds you
[03:07.904] I leave man starving cah you're too hungry
[03:09.617] I said that I got you, but you didn't trust me
[03:11.289] I would've, but you didn't give me the chance
[03:13.246] You can ask anyone of the mandem now if I ever left them in the dark
[03:16.513] Whatever's meant to be will be
[03:17.939] I can't turn back time or dwell on the past
[03:20.054] But I sometimes wonder
[03:21.179] Could have I got this far without losing my dargs?