[00:01.73]The first time I met Sarah
[00:02.53]She said that if I wanted to ever be an artist some day
[00:06.51]I would have to learn how to dig deep inside myself
[00:10.16]And create something of expression
[00:11.35]And I remember telling her I already sold ten thousand records
[00:14.40]And felt like I had put in enough time to
[00:16.00]At least call myself an artist
[00:17.96]And she said that creating entertainment
[00:20.65]And creating art are very different things
[00:24.25]
[00:24.55]And she said that the only way that
[00:25.95]You can really create art is if it's honest expression of something
[00:29.29]You can't express yourself if you don't know who you are
[00:32.43]I was upset that she said that
[00:34.37]But there was still a part of me that was inspired.
[00:37.52]And uh, looking back on the experience of creating music
[00:41.60]And putting everything I can into it
[00:43.70]I have learned that it wasn't worth...
[00:46.59]
[00:48.73]It wasn't worth losing the ones that I had to to get here.
[00:52.33]And so she challenged me to write a poem
[00:54.22]About the things I wish I knew how to say.
[00:56.67]That-that's what this poem is: a response to that
[01:01.64]I guess we can take shortcuts in the darkest corners
[01:04.14]Because the highest earners scale the mountain
[01:07.38]With the quickest and the thick of it
[01:09.48]And I would give up any of it to slow down
[01:11.07]Cause maybe the sound won't be quick
[01:12.66]But we can at least make it painless
[01:14.51]And this game is the distribution of weight
[01:16.52]Angles lights trying to be a star
[01:17.92]While getting hit by comets and vomit
[01:19.71]Which we eat to keep down negative YouTube comments
[01:22.38]
[01:23.38]The spotlight isn't part of the skillset
[01:25.61]The feel void of cohesive thought
[01:27.48]When this love gives a lot and takes very little
[01:29.83]It's brittle, so you have to love what you do and stay true
[01:32.32]And find the right formula to not be bothered by the side effects
[01:35.57]Hide your legs, hide your neck
[01:36.97]Hide your tears, and hide your fears
[01:38.57]And pretend I'm the fearless leader you want me to be
[01:40.76]Because without this fake personality
[01:42.70]I would be performing in the streets
[01:44.75]
[01:46.27]Watching friends turn enemies or even worse
[01:47.97]Distant memories, or even worse
[01:49.36]Love turned to apathy with a distant voice in my head whispering,
[01:51.60]"This is the price you have to pay if you want to sell anything,"
[01:54.66]And no doubt any of us would sell out if only somebody was offering
[02:00.34]It's not about the art, it's about the swallowing
[02:01.98]It's about the hallowing
[02:02.88]It's about the empty vessel you want me to be
[02:04.57]So I can record at record speed
[02:07.35]And I'm sorry
[02:08.93]But to me it doesn't mean anything
[02:10.67]
[02:12.46]So please don't give up on love
[02:13.83]And don't let your hopes fall up
[02:15.34]And don't throw up every time you think about what you could be
[02:19.69]Because the hope was real
[02:22.42]And everything we feel is a legitimate experience
[02:27.57]I just wish you didn't put your faith in me
[02:31.00]Bank notices or selfishness
[02:32.71]Alcohol or somebody's death or somebody's words
[02:35.29]By birth or by choice:
[02:37.13]We will all someday find ourselves shaking
[02:40.09]And barefoot before our lives collapsing
[02:43.08]Our homes lying like dry bones in heaps of plaster and broken beams
[02:48.03]Despair can route us there
[02:50.14]
[02:50.29]Let us calcify our bodies
[02:51.44]Stunted into a petrified forest
[02:53.79]Poisoned and frozen by tragedy
[02:56.03]Or we can choose perspective
[02:58.78]Let suffering run off like the rain into the sea to reveal the truth beneath
[03:03.22]The rock below, the peace and the floods of pain, the process
[03:07.26]The promise that every scrap of our lives will be redeemed
[03:11.15]And reused as the builder makes us new
[03:13.60]That every ounce of tragedy and ash will water
[03:15.94]And fertilize a garden of unimaginable beauty and fruit
[03:19.09]That all of this goes somewhere, yields something
[03:22.44]That perseverance will produce character
[03:24.69]And character of hope that every tear really will be wiped away
[03:28.58]That we will one day be complete
[03:30.61]And that therefore, along the way, we can sing